Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Convoluted Rules in My Shitty Marriage



They do change from day to day.  That's the one thing that is consistent.


So today it's the following:


1.  I can't open the blinds on the weekends so my plants can get any light.  He actually said, "Can't they get light during the week?"  He claims he doesn't like the "fishbowl" feeling of having the blinds open.  We're talking three windows that are about 20 inches wide.  They're in sort of a bay window arrangement.


2.  I can't vacuum upstairs because he's "working."  He's in the eat-in kitchen working, which is his workspace because working 70 hours a week at his job isn't enough.  He won't go into the office and give the rest of us some peace.  I told him I planned to do some housecleaning today and let him know what the children and I would be doing.  He didn't have a problem with it until today.  He said, "Can't you do the living room next week?"  And he complains about things being a mess so frequently.  But we can't clean unless he isn't here.  He complains about our house being all wrong because he doesn't have his own space.  I've offered to make him his own space, but he hates every idea I have.  So he will take over one of the main rooms and leave his junk everywhere, making a total mess of things.  He will play music very loudly, sing like a lunatic, clap loudly, snap loudly, and generally be a noisy prick.  But we can't make noise and disturb him.


3.  I can't turn his music down.  I like rock music, but not when it's as loud as he has it.  And it's the radio, so there's no control over what is played.  Plus the sound carries into the other rooms, so there's really no escaping it.


4.  I can't know something he doesn't.  If he didn't read it first, it must be wrong.  


5.  I can't have a different experience from the one he's talking about.  If he's read something that X is supposed to be a certain way, and I've had X been a different way (and know many other who have too) then I'm dead wrong, and I'm being "difficult."


That's enough for today.

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