April 8, 2009
I like the job, but if I lose it I will not be sweating it. I have minimal responsibility given the divorce. I make child support and that is about it.
I met [Sweetness] through Match.com. She is a very interesting woman, but she has a few funny traits that are cute and endearing for now. I could picture those changing and becoming quite annoying...I will have to see. It is hard to be sure how much of that kind of stuff is my shit and how much really is the other person.
[His kid] is good. Still kind of shy...a lot of her peers have out grwon that. I think she is sort of an observer by nature...at least right now and I am cool with that. She also seems pretty bright although she doesn't have as much curiosity as I think she should...my shit again. It finally dawned on me a few years ago that being very smart and having five bucks will get you a latte at the starbucks. [Sweetness] claims to have a very high IQ, and she is smart. She claims her kids are very smart (and they are) and is annoyed that are not treated as special by the school system. I just chuckle to my self...other than being extremely useful in going back to college being smart has not been all that useful to me...as much a hinderence as a help in most things I would guess. Being a little less smart and a little more focused could have been very helpful. That is one of the endearing things that could turn annoying. The other major one is that she in atheist. Which I don't care about one way or the other. She also claims to be a libertarian...Now I dontl know the true definition of atheist, but to my mind she does the exact same things she dislikes in the uber religious...She accepts as many things with out proof as the southern baptist she dislikes...its just that her doctrine is quantum physics and her prophets are Hawking, Einstien and company. The faithful congegation has never seen God, but she has never seen a quark or dark matter...nor I'll wager does she have much better an understanding of doctrine of the high math and physics than the sunday church service and bible class goer has of the bible. As for being a libertarian...she isn't really. She is against government interference in peoples lives, but she does think people need to be told what is right and wrong and how to live. She just thinks she should be the one to do the telling. She will say some shit like...that person should have that child in a car seat until the kid weighs 70 pounds...and I accuse her of being the worst libertarian ever. For now I have the opinion that it is just funny...that at some point her eyes will open and she will see that she is not special, and her kids are not special, and control of anything is an illusion.
I got a tattoo a while back...Ashoka's chakra on my upper arm. I will probably add more in time, but I am saving my nuts until the spring thaw of this recession.
Thats all I got for now. [Friend and wife] moved to a different house in Texas. They were thinking about adopting another child. He was still with IBM, and seemed pretty secure despite IBM making some pretty deep cuts in places. I think the stock market has batter big blue less than many, but I don't really pay much attention. I don't have a TV so I am behind on current events.What pisses me off about this is that I had no idea he thought this about me. Also the fact that we only talked about me being an atheist ONCE, and all he asked me was "how long have you been an atheist?" I never mentioned Dawkins or Hawking or quarks, or any of that shit. He did try to preach his pseudo-Buddhist shit at me though.
As far as thinking my children are special? I had mistakenly told him that I had pulled them out of school because of the lack of services for gifted children. The school they attended was very focused on test scores, and anyone who fell outside of the middle (including those with special needs) was ignored and left to fend for themselves.
As far as the "libertarian" thing, I was clear about being very focused on children's rights because they are at the mercy of adults, so there should be some protection for them. He was one who didn't think parents should worry about safety and properly restraining children while in moving vehicles. He's also one to talk about "control" considering he is a controlling asshole. Projection, yes.
Why marry someone you obviously can't stand? Because it is in the nature of his kind to find those with any good qualities and try to tear them down. That's what gets them off. Control. Not an illusion for him.