Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Email Threats 2/28/2010

He would frequently tell me he was having the internet disconnected.  I was isolated from much of anything, and it was my lifeline.  We didn't have cable, and there was no real entertainment in our house.  We couldn't go to movies, and I couldn't go to lunch with friends or anything.  I started paying him for the internet service, which seemed to work out ok, but if he didn't get the money exactly when he wanted it, he would start with the threats.  I was supposed to be getting $600 per month in child support (FOR THREE CHILDREN) but this was sporadic at best.  We got an income tax refund, and I used what he considered "my share" to pay for internet service for a few months.  The money his mother gave me as a Christmas gift was also used for the same thing.  Yet he still complained.  He wrote me this email:
I have the AT&T bill - 42.95 for February. It is due March 19th. I need the 30.00 from you this week or I will cancel the service. You could check into the comcast offer as an alternative. My experience with their offers has been...an equipment rental charge they do mention in the ad and a several year comittment after the introductory period, which makes the offer equal to DSL. If the comcast offer makes sense go ahead and do it in your name and I will pay in 15.00 a month for my share.

 I know you live on the internet and consider it a basic necessity, but there is next to nothing discretionary in our budget and internet is one of the few areas where I see I can reduce cash out.

What's funny is that a few weeks later, he was hell-bent on taking a vacation.  I was against it, but I had no say really.  We ended up going to Atlanta for a long weekend, spending at least $1000. 

Then July rolls around.  The day before our first anniversary, he called me from work and told me he had the internet disconnected.  Didn't tell me before he left or the day before.  He claimed I hadn't paid him for it, which I had, and then he started in on how I could be paying for other bills if I had the $30 to pay for the internet service.

I ended up having to order service myself, and I got a digital cable package for our anniversary the next day.  It worked out well that I happened to have some money at the time. When I showed the material to him, he got mad and said, "I hate cable."

He frequently complained that we never did anything together, but he claimed to want to watch movies with me.  Almost never happened.  He would pull this crap with Netflix too.  It was $20 a month, and you would have thought I was spending the family budget on hookers and blow.  I think the fact that it was something that the girls and I enjoyed, and it was in my name (and therefore out of his control) made him livid.  Cancelling the internet meant that the streaming for Netflix was not possible, so I would have lost the money I had already paid in that month for the service.

But he started shopping for a kayak and had a motorcycle sitting in storage--that he never drove--and continued to pay insurance on it.  Three years of premiums while it sits in storage at his friend's house. 

At least he was saving a ton of money on gas for it!  Brilliant.


  1. I have some catching up to since I just found you. You've got an interesting voice. Do you talk the way you write blog posts? You almost sound like Q in drag.

    That picture of Ted Bundy is creepy. It looks like it's its own Rorschach blob. I don't think I want to know where you find these images online. I mean that quite respectfully.

  2. Just do a search for "Ted Bundy," and some show up, even creepier ones. I started reading "The Stranger Beside Me," and TB said and did things (other than the murders) that were eerily similar to my ex-husband. Plus the whole "looks like a normal guy until you see his eyes" thing is similar.

  3. I do speak formally much of the time, but I try to write in a way that's more readable. I swear a lot too, but I don't do it as much in writing.

  4. I like the way you express yourself. It has a lot of personality.

  5. Thanks! I just write the way it sounds in my head, but I also want it to be easy to read (even though the content can be disturbing at times).

  6. Oh, and this sounds a lot like my ex-husband. I paid for rent, utilities and groceries. He would bitch to me about how I was materialistic and he would be happy with four plain white walls. Yet he used the little bit of money he had to buy himself new clothes. While he lived in my house and ate the food I cooked for him.

    Thank god this arrangement only lasted four months before I booted him out. Then he proceeded to rip me off for taxes that year so he could qualify as a poor person for grad school. And blamed me for his later "commitment issues" with women.

    He was still nicer than my mother, though.

  7. Sounds like we both went husband-hunting at a turd buffet.