So after I responded and tried to stand up for myself, he replied with the following:
Wow!!! I really did not see a lot of it from your side...to you I am the great satan. And that tells me much. Some of your points are way way off and some I can see as right on. Others I can see how looks like a misunderstanding (not the right word, but I can't find it) is causing me a small distress and you a great one. But it would seem there is little point to addressing any of it.
He didn't say what he agreed with and didn't, which was typical. He would do that often: tell me he didn't agree with some of the things I said, but when I asked which ones, he would say, "I don't know" or "I can't remember."
Then I got another response:
Okay so I have had a night to mull it over. I am sad and lonely in a house full of people, which I kinda have been for a while I guess...8 months maybe if your timeline is accurate. I can see your points...I don't agree with a lot of them and I am not sure you have seen my side very well, but I can see where you are working from whether or not I think it makes sense. And that may be why I finally get what you are saying...before I did not understand how you see me.
So it would appear, yesterdays phone conversation aside, that talk of anything but divorce would be so much pointless banter. If I am wrong on that count I am not closed to the idea of working with you, but I have real concerns, expressed before, of the "I can change I swear it" lines, that might come from either or both sides. And you must too, as it really sounds like you think you cannot trust me or possibly even stand me (a small joke, which I should probably quit doing in type since they don't seem to be coming across).
Whether or not any sort of reconcilliation is in our future please email what you think is fair in terms of a split up and a loose timeline. I will try to be open minded and receptive. I hope this does not seem an unfair request...but I think having something written down will help this process go more smoothly and give each of us some idea of expectations. Hopefully after a couple back and forths we will have an agreement. If you prefer not to do it in email then lets plan on going some where next week and hammering out this same set of details face to face.