Thursday, June 21, 2012

Is It Supposed To Itch?

He sent me an email a few months back telling me he had a physical and was tested for STDs.  He said he would let me know his results, which he never did, so I emailed him finally.  I think he was trying to prove that I had been cheating on him, otherwise why in the world I leave him?  He's such a catch!  I must have been screwing around on him.  That must have been why I never wanted to have sex with him, and why I cringed any time he came near me, which was usually to grope me in some way, even though I told him not to.  No means no, dickwad.

From me:

You never got back to me about your other STD checks. I assumed they were normal because you would have been legally required to notify me (and whomever you would have caught them from). I meant to ask about this sooner, but I completely forgot.

His reply:

I have had sex with no one but you since december 09, was it? So I assume they are negative, but I have not actually heard yet. Please don't quote what you think teh law says at me.

Actually it should have been January 2009, but what difference does almost a whole year make?  In another email he said it was theoretically possible that I could have had something before we met and infected him with it, which could explain why he would test positive for anything.

Fortunately I got myself checked and was fine.  I wondered if he had cheated on me, but I realized that he's not the suave charmer that he thinks he is.  And in his case, the only women he was ever able to schmooze into sleeping with him were obese.  Chubby chaser.


  1. No, it's supposed to burn. I couldn't piss without setting the curtains on fire.

  2. That sounds like an awesome talent--shooting fire out of your dickhole. You're like a superhero!