Thursday, June 14, 2012

"Trust and Communication" Email from 6/20/2011: Part 1

This one was after he had told me about going to the attorney during my surgery on 5/24/2011, and I told him that I didn't think we had any business being together.  This was before the separate bedrooms, so I started sleeping downstairs on a trundle bed in my oldest daughter's room. 

I suspect that you are already “done” with this relationship. And I cannot say for certain that I am not in complete agreement with you and therefore writing this email could be just my working through the K├╝bler-Ross cycle. But I do love you and I wonder if our problems are insurmountable? Of course the girls being in favor of a split does not help matters…not to mention making me feel very much like my sacrifices (which I consider to numerous and generous) went unnoticed and/or unappreciated. I routinely thought those sacrifices were underappreciated, but had chocked that up to kids will be kids. I am now seeing the unpleasant side to step-fatherhood.  [Chocked? I believe the term is "chalked."]
Anyway we got some big issues…trust (both ways) and communication (both ways). I think we could probably improve communication. Trust I am less sure about.

On the subject of communication there was something that bothered me about a conversation a week or two ago re: marriage consueling. You were very willing to place stipulations (man, PhD not social worker, non-Christian) on it, and quick to say you did not want to do the calling. So basically saying I should do the leg work (even though you were at home) and meet your conditions. My take away, while you said you were willing to go, the underlying message I received was one of you having very little interest.  [He cannot ever spell the word "counseling" to save his life.]

Anyway emotionally I am on a bit of roller coaster right now. A reply would be appreciated even if just to say you got this and read it

Talking Mask

PS: I looked at [Our Town] real estate listings and it is pretty grim. I saw one 5 bed 4 bath listed for 235,000...was [County-City area] so it wasn;t in our neighborhood exactly, but there was a 4/3 (different from [our address], but still a big one) for 235,000 in the [our neighborhood], which was descripbed as having upgrades beyond 113. If they list at 235,000 maybe they net 225,000 after closing costs. Commision of 13,500 leaves 211,500....if the get the 225,000.

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